A Start
by ThomE.Gemcity-06
Summary: Sequel to ATTACK. Sometimes he thought it would have been better if a had just killed himself; sliting the wrists would leave a chance for them to save him, so he decided it would be better to go with the throat instead. Please review! 3rd installment.


**a/n: This is a sequel to ATTACK.**

**A Start**

"A whole week!" Kenny repeated incredulous; He was sitting up in his infirmary bed without restraints this time, because frankly, he was not going anywhere even if he wanted to. He had tubes connected to his arms, one up his nose and let's not forget the huge one that made it's self at home in his down stairs and Kenny thanked God that he had be out when that thing was inserted. "Steve must have done a number on me." he said under his breath, but Becket heard anyway.

"Aye, he did." Beckett agreed. "The knife lodged it's-self into your right kidney, which in it's-self is very bad. But you must have jimmied the knife some because the damage was greater than I would have liked. When you went into surgery, we tried to repair it, but the damage was to great. So we had to remove it."

Kenny gapped at him, his mouth wide open in shock. "You took some of me out, and I'm still alive?" His hazel brown eyes open wide in half fear and half utter amazement.

"Aye, lad." Beckett chuckled, "Some part you can without, some you can't."

"So does that mean that my burns are all healed, since I've been out for a week?" Kenny questioned, only now taking a look at his bare arms. They weren't as bad as he last remembered them, the bandages were off and there was still a little scabbing.

"You are correct."

Just then Colonel Sheppard strode into the infirmary, Dex a few steps behind. His body was tense and his gaze full of hate as he openly glared at Kenny. Sheppard nodded to Beckett before his gaze fell onto Kenny, who was paler than usual.

"Is he dead?" Kenny asked before Sheppard could open his mouth.

"Is who dead?" Sheppard asked, playing dumb; it was easier to get information out of Kenny. But Kenny wasn't that much of an idiot, so he was already ready to play this child's game.

"Steve." Kenny said simply.

"The Wraith?" Dex growled out.

Kenny spared him a glance before retuning his stare to Sheppard. "Yes, The Wraith."

Sheppard was silent fro a moment, a slight curve to his lips, "If a pencil in the eye and a clip of bullets in the head didn't kill him, than I have no idea what would."

Kenny nodded, "I should probably thank Major Lorne for that." Kenny told a surprised Sheppard.

"Lorne?" Sheppard asked his eyes now narrowed.

Kenny had a sinking feeling in his stomach, what every friendliness that had just happened between them was now gone. By the expression on Sheppard's face, Kenny would say that he didn't know that his own XO had gone an visited the former Wraith. "I have trouble with my memories," Kenny started to explain, "and when Major Lorne found out, he brought me some paper and pencil's. Taught me how to draw so that I could put the ones that were trying to slip away on paper. They were of Wraith technology, so every time I did a stack someone would come and take them. I assumed that the were for Dr. McKay."

"How did Lorne know about you memories?" Sheppard brushed that aside, sticking to the apparent issue that his 2IC knew about Kenny, which Kenny didn't understand because Major Lorne was his right hand man and as a right hand man Major Lorne was supposed to know just as much as Colonel Sheppard.

"Colonel," Beckett chided in disappointment, "Major Lorne came to me."

"Oh," Sheppard cleared his throat and looked away.

A bark of laughter broke from Kenny's throat before he could stop it and he clutched his sided at the sudden sharp pain, all eyes turned to him. Kenny couldn't believe it, Sheppard was jealous, because Lorne knew more about his situation. Beckett walked to around to Kenny's right side, without any warning he pulled the blanket back. With the help of Dr. Beckett, Kenny rolled to his side so the doctor could check on his stitches.

"Bloody Hell," Beckett cursed, "You popped a stitch or two." he sighed, "Now you stay right here and I'll be right back." He told Kenny, patting him on the shoulder in reassurance.

There was a awkward silence in the air, Kenny chewed his bottom lip for a moment before asking a question that had been on his mind. "Are, uh, are the two marines that got shot with the stunner okay?"

Sheppard nodded his head, his arms crossed over his chest.

"That's good," Kenny told him truthfully as Beckett came back carrying a tray.

He set the tray on the mattress space behind Kenny, before sitting on a stool and pulling on some latex glove.

"Colonel Sheppard?" Kenny questioned, only continuing when Sheppard looked at him. "When I get released from the infirmary, do I have to go back there?" his voice trembled slightly.

Sheppard looked intently at Kenny, who winced as Dr. Beckett put in a knew stitch - Kenny still couldn't believe that he was missing an organ.

"We won't put in that one," Sheppard said slowly, his eyes squinting some what.

Kenny wanted to burst in to tears and yell that it wasn't fair. Because in truth, it wasn't. He had never once fought them, he gave them all the information that they asked, he drew diagrams, told weaknesses. When those two marines shoved him into the electrified force field, he never complained, he never fought, he waited for them to call the doctor for his burns. He fought and killed Steve, who, Kenny knew would have fed on those other two marines once he was finished with Kenny. He never got a _thank you_ or a _good work_, the only thing he got in return was a missing organ. And he never once complained. They were just going to put him in another cell, with no bed or any privacy.

Kenny knew he kind of deserve it, because of what his race had done to the human race. But he was different, he never once fed on a human before and he always stayed out of all that destruction. He knew that he wasn't completely innocent, because of course he had played his part in every death that was aboard the ship. But deep down, very, very deep down he knew he deserved better. Though that mattered neither here nor there, because in reality, even though he was in the shape of a human, he was still the monster that fed on human's.; when in reality he was nothing like the Other's. Unconsciously, Kenny had thought on many occasions that maybe it would have been better if he had just killed himself in the first place.

"Okay," he whispered instead. Kenny chanced a glance at the ever fierce Dex, and was wishing that he hadn't. In those hard brown eyes all he saw was hate, anger and some more deep seeded hate. Kenny had heard of Runners before, but had never known anyone to survive. His own platoon never did that, but there was this one disgraceful Wraith that planted trackers into the humans he captured and then set them free; making a game of catching them before he fed on their life force. Dex was one of those and his whole village was probably wiped out too. So he had a reason to have the Wraith and Kenny would always be a Wraith to his eyes.

Kenny squeezed his eyes shut; begging the tears not to come. There was a good thing about the moment he chose to do so, because just as he squeezed his eyes shut tight, Dr. Beckett had fixed the last stitch and it was especially painful. For some reason, the pain killers that were being injected into his blood stream had no effect. So Kenny felt every prick, tug and pull, the aches and pains, he could even feel the empty spot where his right kidney used to be. But he didn't say a word; he didn't deserve to be in comfort so he took it in stride - for now, at least.

"I think it was time you got some more rest, lad." Beckett told the former Wraith teen, he gave Colonel Sheppard a slight glare as he move from behind Kenny. And Sheppard did just that, without even saying a word he walked away, Dex trailing after him.

Beckett looked a Kenny for a long moment before he spoke, "The pain killers have no effect, do they?" he asked sadly.

"No," Kenny whispered quietly, turning back on his back as he closed his eyes, "they don't."

* * *

Over the next few day Dr. Beckett got Kenny around and moving, which made Kenny a happy man because that weirdo catheter tube finally got taken out. His died had to be changed, since he was down one kidney; no greasy foods or alcohol - _whatever that is_.. Dr. Beckett had told him that his last kidney would grow bigger to compensate fro the lose of it's twin. And that sort of freaked him out a little, his kidney growing bigger.

Kenny delt with the aching pain in his back and the empty space left behind in the only way he knew how; silence. Because who was he to tell? All his life he had always had nobody and today was no different. During his walks he had another pair of marines to escort him, which was fine with Kenny because they kept their distance and didn't say a word to him. He was only aloud to trail around the infirmary area and no further, so he walks were short and boring. He hadn't seen the sun for about a month and a half; it was hard for him to tell when an hour past, never mind a day or week and you can forget about month. He could only estimate the time when each meal came, but he was sure he never got it right. As time went by, he became more with drawn then he had before.

He was still a prisoner, so he had time for his mind to wander to dark places, mostly if his death would have been better than this.

* * *

After Dr. Beckett had taken out all the stitches from his now sealed incision, Kenny was taken to his new cell. It was exactly the same as his last one, though, as they locked him in there was no hum of the force shield. Kenny supposed that was a good thing; they didn't find him a threat any longer, and it wasn't as if he could escape anyway. What with his missing kidney and all.

His sigh was broken as he sat cross legged in the middle of the cell; he still didn't feel comfortable near any of those four walls. Kenny grabbed the stack of paper that sat near by on the bare floor and started to write.

* * *

The next few days that's all he really did; write. On both sides of the page, top to bottom in Wraith because that was all he knew how to write. He ate all he was given, let Dr. Becket check over him, took regular bathroom break and showered when told. He did everything he usually did before he got attacked, so as not to draw any suspicion towards himself.

What he was doing was basically writing his suicide note - well, not rally. Because he was just putting every piece of Wraith knowledge from his brain on to paper; anything really, that he thought would help the Lantian's with their mission and to kill off the Wraith. Anything he could due to pay the debt that he owes them; for turning him into a Human, for making him into something other than a monster.

It was the day he finished writing that he took it; the knife, that is. For every meal, they gave him real utensil's, which to him didn't make any since; because he was a former Wraith after all. But Kenny didn't look this horse in the mouth, because it was just what he needed.

* * *

Kenny sat with his back hunched to the exit of his cell, his back away from the two marine's guarding it and clenched the sharp knife in his hands. The shinny blade was mesmerizing, the way the dime light from the side wall gleamed on the smooth surface. The blade reflected his pale face in a distorted image; just like the monster he was. He was never meant to be like this; Human. It was just a sickness in his brain that made him want to be something he wasn't, something that would only last as long as he kept on getting doses. It wasn't really real, this form he was in, it wasn't natural - _He_ wasn't natural, wasn't normal.

He didn't even glance behind him as he gripped the handle tight in his left hand. He figured that if he slit his wrists, there might be the off chance that they could save him. And maybe he did want to be saved, to be treated like they treat each other. But instead he was hated and despised for what he really was; _A Wraith_. He didn't understand how it was his fault that he was born this way; he just wanted someone to look at what was on the inside, not the out.

And that was why he was going to slit his throat instead; it was quicker and there was no way that they would be able to save him from so much lose of blood. His heart pounded in his chest as tears swelled in his eyes. In truth; Kenny still didn't want to die, he was still scared. But it would be in everyone's best interest if he was.

So he took a deep breath and clutched the handle even tighter as he rose the knife to his neck, his eyes slid closed and the tears cascaded down his pale cheeks.

All he ever wanted was . . . .

Arms wrapped around him and a fist gripped his wrist tightly; forcing him to drop the knife from his grip. His hand was pulled away from his neck and held them close to his body as someone hugged him from behind. They clutched him so closely that Kenny could feel their heart beat against his back, the warmth of their body mingling with his. He felt a tickle against his as they buried their face in his neck, their warm breath ghosting against his hot skin; with every breath he felt the slight rub of stubble.

"Did you think that I would accept this, Kenny?" Sheppard whispered against Kenny's neck, his soft lips brushing against the skin of Kenny's neck.

Kenny felt something go through him as he leaned his head back so that it rest against the top of Sheppard's. "What does it matter?" he whispered.

"It matters because you matter." Sheppard told him simply.

"But why do I matter?"

"I don't know," Sheppard told him truthfully, "Something's are hard to explain."

"Like what?" Kenny asked, the corner up his mouth twitching upward.

Sheppard was silent for a moment as he thought of the answer. "Like why the grass is greener on the other side." he smirked.

"Because," Kenny whispered, "you've never seen it before and it's new to you, innocent. That's why the grass is greener on the other side."

"Maybe this could be your other side," Sheppard said after a while, still holding the teenager as close as he could.

"Maybe," Kenny agreed as Sheppard's scent entered his nose. "Maybe,"

Because all Kenny ever wanted was a Savoir.

**note: I hope you enjoyed this latest installment, please review! it would be much appreciated.**


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